Being your true self, being your true nature, is different than experiencing it with thought. Realize that you are the mystery, and that you can't really look at the mystery because you are only capable of looking from the mystery. There is a very awake, alive, and loving mystery, and that's what is seeing through your eyes at this moment. That's what is hearing through your ears at this moment. Instead of trying to figure it all out, which is impossible, I suggest you ask, "What's ultimately behind this set of eyes?" Turn around to see what is looking. Encounter pure mystery, which is pure spirit, and wake up to what you are.